I had an incident to occur today between my son and myself that made me realize that perhaps our children aren't aware of the constant demands upon parents to make sure that we are able to provide everything they need and sometimes, what they want.
But what really hurt me the most was his reaction to our discussion. I won't go into details, as I feel like that should remain a private matter, but I will say that afterwards, I view my son as a young man who may have reacted to our current situation. Ever since I lost my job, my focus has been on making sure that we had food on the table, that our lights stayed on and that we could make it from day to day and week to week.
Somewhere along the way, I began to turn that focus away from those issues and began to focus on ME.....what I wanted, what I needed.....and putting him to the side for awhile. As a parent, that is the ONE thing we must never do....is to put ourselves before our children. God doesn't put Himself before us, does He? NOOOOO!!!
Afterwards, my heart was overwhelmed by the way that I treated my son and I repented to God that He would forgive me, but I need to make amends with my son in order to be free of the guilt. If I don't, my soul will be tormented by the thought that I have lost my son's respect and have become just a person getting by just for the sake of getting by.
I have to believe that God will provide a job for me that is suitable for me and will not take me away from my walk with Jesus.
Faith.....Hope.....Love...........the greatest of these is LOVE
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