I had an incident to occur today between my son and myself that made me realize that perhaps our children aren't aware of the constant demands upon parents to make sure that we are able to provide everything they need and sometimes, what they want.
But what really hurt me the most was his reaction to our discussion. I won't go into details, as I feel like that should remain a private matter, but I will say that afterwards, I view my son as a young man who may have reacted to our current situation. Ever since I lost my job, my focus has been on making sure that we had food on the table, that our lights stayed on and that we could make it from day to day and week to week.
Somewhere along the way, I began to turn that focus away from those issues and began to focus on ME.....what I wanted, what I needed.....and putting him to the side for awhile. As a parent, that is the ONE thing we must never do....is to put ourselves before our children. God doesn't put Himself before us, does He? NOOOOO!!!
Afterwards, my heart was overwhelmed by the way that I treated my son and I repented to God that He would forgive me, but I need to make amends with my son in order to be free of the guilt. If I don't, my soul will be tormented by the thought that I have lost my son's respect and have become just a person getting by just for the sake of getting by.
I have to believe that God will provide a job for me that is suitable for me and will not take me away from my walk with Jesus.
Faith.....Hope.....Love...........the greatest of these is LOVE
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Struggles, Weaknesses, and the like.....
As human beings, we are prone to the occassional temptation, whether it be chocolate, alcohol, sex, gambling, etc., regardless of it's origins, we are human....not Superman with kypronite. We must realize that we are fallible to fall. BUT, unlike cartoon superheroes, we have the amazing gift of forgiveness, not only from God, but from our fellow human beings.
But the problem with us humans is that we don't like to admit when we are wrong or when we have made a mistake that makes us look guilty or ashamed. We only admit things when we think we'll get caught, or when someone we love is going to be hurt from our actions, only then will we make a decision to admit our faults.
Here is the beauty part of God.........no matter WHAT we've done, when we turn and repent of our sins and do not repeat them over and over, God is there......always! We have to do our part, though, God doesn't give us a license to sin anytime we want, we have live up to God's expectations of us. As many times as I made the promise, "Dear God, if you get me out of this situation", or "Dear God, I really need some extra money this week", and yes, there were times God did deliver me out of a situation and yes, I did take my promise back, I've learned that God was always there for me and He is still here for me.
Having someone to talk to, depend on, etc, is great! Even better when that someone understands all that I am going through and reassures me that everything will be just fine. '
Yes, we are going to struggle, yes we have weaknesses, but we have a free will to decide how we are going to handle every situation. Sometimes an unanswered prayer is an answered prayer. God knows everything I need before I know I need it, isn't that great? He looks after me even when I don't think He is there.
Depend upon God this week for strength, courage and wisdom to do those things that bring Him honor and glory. I can assure you, He will be there to guide you through whatever it is that you are going to encounter this week!
But the problem with us humans is that we don't like to admit when we are wrong or when we have made a mistake that makes us look guilty or ashamed. We only admit things when we think we'll get caught, or when someone we love is going to be hurt from our actions, only then will we make a decision to admit our faults.
Here is the beauty part of God.........no matter WHAT we've done, when we turn and repent of our sins and do not repeat them over and over, God is there......always! We have to do our part, though, God doesn't give us a license to sin anytime we want, we have live up to God's expectations of us. As many times as I made the promise, "Dear God, if you get me out of this situation", or "Dear God, I really need some extra money this week", and yes, there were times God did deliver me out of a situation and yes, I did take my promise back, I've learned that God was always there for me and He is still here for me.
Having someone to talk to, depend on, etc, is great! Even better when that someone understands all that I am going through and reassures me that everything will be just fine. '
Yes, we are going to struggle, yes we have weaknesses, but we have a free will to decide how we are going to handle every situation. Sometimes an unanswered prayer is an answered prayer. God knows everything I need before I know I need it, isn't that great? He looks after me even when I don't think He is there.
Depend upon God this week for strength, courage and wisdom to do those things that bring Him honor and glory. I can assure you, He will be there to guide you through whatever it is that you are going to encounter this week!
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Little Things
Throughout our lives, we all overlook the little things that make everyday events, something extraordinary. For instance, you can be having the worst day of your life, nothing seems to be going right and then, just walking along, minding your own business, someone passing you on the street smiles at you. And it's not a weird, stalker type of smile, but an honest, heartwarming smile that melts all the ice around your heart and the black cloud over your head. At that moment you realize that everything that was bothering you earlier, is now just a memory. This is how God works even the tiniest wonders.
God knows what we endure on earth. Remember, He sent His Son to undertake the biggest endeavor ever to occur in world history! What we decide to do with the opportunities given to us is up to us. I have gone through my life either overlooking or just taking for granted the times given to me to make a difference in someone's day. I love making people happy, whether it's by making them laugh, helping them with packages, etc., whatever it is, I want others to know that there are people who actually care for other people and do so because it's what Jesus told us to do. When everything begins to revolve around the world and our own needs, then we begin to lose sight of the real deal.....Jesus!
We should focus on returning to what it's really all about....others, not ourselves. As a parent, I had to learn that my children's needs came before mine, regardless of whether or not it was something I needed or wanted. As a society as a whole, I believe that we are withdrawing from that and returning to the attitude.."What's in it for me?", which is the attitude during the 1980's where everyone was looking out for themselves and basically heck to everyone else!
We have to return to our roots as a human race.....to return to helping our fellow man, to make sure that needs are being met, that the widows and orphans are fed and taken care of, that those who are hungry are fed and not just with food and water, but with the Word of God that provides food that sustains us through birth to death.
So, take time to speak and smile to someone you've not seen in awhile, or a perfect stranger. Make sure you know what needs are to be met in your neighborhood. If you are separated from Jesus, repent, pray and He will return to you in a way that surpassess anything this world can provide.
God knows what we endure on earth. Remember, He sent His Son to undertake the biggest endeavor ever to occur in world history! What we decide to do with the opportunities given to us is up to us. I have gone through my life either overlooking or just taking for granted the times given to me to make a difference in someone's day. I love making people happy, whether it's by making them laugh, helping them with packages, etc., whatever it is, I want others to know that there are people who actually care for other people and do so because it's what Jesus told us to do. When everything begins to revolve around the world and our own needs, then we begin to lose sight of the real deal.....Jesus!
We should focus on returning to what it's really all about....others, not ourselves. As a parent, I had to learn that my children's needs came before mine, regardless of whether or not it was something I needed or wanted. As a society as a whole, I believe that we are withdrawing from that and returning to the attitude.."What's in it for me?", which is the attitude during the 1980's where everyone was looking out for themselves and basically heck to everyone else!
We have to return to our roots as a human race.....to return to helping our fellow man, to make sure that needs are being met, that the widows and orphans are fed and taken care of, that those who are hungry are fed and not just with food and water, but with the Word of God that provides food that sustains us through birth to death.
So, take time to speak and smile to someone you've not seen in awhile, or a perfect stranger. Make sure you know what needs are to be met in your neighborhood. If you are separated from Jesus, repent, pray and He will return to you in a way that surpassess anything this world can provide.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
What if............?
I'm sure that at one time or another, we have all wished or said, "What if so and so ......?" or "What if I had just said?", well, saying such things only help to remind us of what DIDN'T happen instead of what happened. Most of the time we say such things when we think of someone that we had strong feelings for, yet, for either fear of rejection or for some circumstances, we never acted on those feelings, therefore allowing that person to move on, thereby making us wonder, "What if....?"
Days turn into weeks, weeks into months, months into years, until, one day, out of the blue, you receive either a email, a invitation for Facebook, MySpace, etc, from that exact same person years ago you allowed to walk out of your life without as much as a goodbye!
Sure, there are stories about lost loves finding one another over the internet through several websites, etc., but when it happens to you, well, it tends to take on a different meaning. When you hear that person's voice over the phone, a flood of emotions sweep over you, reminding you of a simpler time when you were in this person's presence and the effect that person had on you then and has on you now.
Knowing that you can still make them laugh and that possibly that they have thought about you, makes everything seem to freeze and you are face-to-face with that person, touching them, close enough to feel their heartbeat, until you realize you were in a deep daydream.
I think that if you give up on finding your true love, then a part of you gives up on living life. You have to have faith that God puts people in your life for a season, removes them for a season, then returns them for a lifetime. But we have to have that faith that He will do that!
So, if you are looking for your true love, have faith, remain steadfast and patient......love is patient.....
Days turn into weeks, weeks into months, months into years, until, one day, out of the blue, you receive either a email, a invitation for Facebook, MySpace, etc, from that exact same person years ago you allowed to walk out of your life without as much as a goodbye!
Sure, there are stories about lost loves finding one another over the internet through several websites, etc., but when it happens to you, well, it tends to take on a different meaning. When you hear that person's voice over the phone, a flood of emotions sweep over you, reminding you of a simpler time when you were in this person's presence and the effect that person had on you then and has on you now.
Knowing that you can still make them laugh and that possibly that they have thought about you, makes everything seem to freeze and you are face-to-face with that person, touching them, close enough to feel their heartbeat, until you realize you were in a deep daydream.
I think that if you give up on finding your true love, then a part of you gives up on living life. You have to have faith that God puts people in your life for a season, removes them for a season, then returns them for a lifetime. But we have to have that faith that He will do that!
So, if you are looking for your true love, have faith, remain steadfast and patient......love is patient.....
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Thoughts from a Clothesline------> Random Thoughts
April 21,2010
The biggest similiarity between a blog and a actual diary is that they should both be updated regualrly. However, unlike a diary where your thoughts are those you keep to yourself, a blog allows us to share thoughts that perhaps can reach out to those around us in a medium that allows us from being rejected, hurt, or otherwise, belittled.
Yesterday, I shared my thoughts on selfishness and how it affects our lives. Today most of my thoughts are random and may drift from one place to another, so, if you will bear with me, hopefully something wonderful will come from this. :)
As a young girl, I always looked forward to family gatherings and reunions. It provided me with the opportunity to see family that I normally didn't see on a daily basis as well as all the wonderful food!!! Oh, the food itself was a reason alone to go, but it was always second to me just so that I could be around family. As a child, family was something of an enigma, something I couldn't figure out. Honestly, I do not recall alot of my childhood, which in itself is sad, as most of the pictures show me either laughing, smiling, with my older sisters around me, almost in a protective stance. (How I miss that!).
I do recall spending sometime in my room, reading or playing with dolls or whatever, but the older I became, I noticed that our family was constantly going in separate directions. I deeply love my older sisters....to me they were the definition of "grown-up" and seemed to have everything going for them. My sisters are just as beautiful now as they were when we were growing up and although they do not know this, I have always admired them for their ability to be successful in their lives. Even to this day, we when have family gatherings, looking at them they are happy and have such a good life. Don't we want that for our own family?
My brother, who is closer to my in age, is a man just like our father. He is dedicated to whatever he does and does not rest until he knows he has done what has needed to be done. Growing up, I remember playing football with him in the front yard, each of us wearing our favorite NFL teams jersey and helmet. He liked the Dallas Cowboys and I was a Minnesota Viking.....back then they were bitter rivalries!! Everything back then was so much simpler and the fun we had! Now, he is a grown man with a family of his own and, like my older sisters, is a successful adult. The thing I love most about my brother is his sense of humor! Between him and my sisters, when they get together, it always turns out to be a comedy routine.
The way in which a family interacts with one another reflects alot in the way that a family treats others, I think. Sometimes I think it goes beyond the Golden Rule. Especially today when everything is communicated through cell phones and computers, interacting in a personal manner has become, well, impersonal. Writing letters has been replaced with email and the television has replaced the family dinner table. Sometimes I think that we get so engrossed in our daily lives that we tend to forget that there are those around us, including family, that are struggling to keep their boats afloat.
If we lose sight of the bigger picture, and get caught up in the way the world is going, we are losing a part of ourselves that we will never be able to recover.
Family gatherings shouldn't only take place on Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, Mother's Day or Father's Day, it should be an everyday event filled with laughter and love.
What is the point of the popular home decoration, "Live, Laugh, Love", if it's not put into practice?
The biggest similiarity between a blog and a actual diary is that they should both be updated regualrly. However, unlike a diary where your thoughts are those you keep to yourself, a blog allows us to share thoughts that perhaps can reach out to those around us in a medium that allows us from being rejected, hurt, or otherwise, belittled.
Yesterday, I shared my thoughts on selfishness and how it affects our lives. Today most of my thoughts are random and may drift from one place to another, so, if you will bear with me, hopefully something wonderful will come from this. :)
As a young girl, I always looked forward to family gatherings and reunions. It provided me with the opportunity to see family that I normally didn't see on a daily basis as well as all the wonderful food!!! Oh, the food itself was a reason alone to go, but it was always second to me just so that I could be around family. As a child, family was something of an enigma, something I couldn't figure out. Honestly, I do not recall alot of my childhood, which in itself is sad, as most of the pictures show me either laughing, smiling, with my older sisters around me, almost in a protective stance. (How I miss that!).
I do recall spending sometime in my room, reading or playing with dolls or whatever, but the older I became, I noticed that our family was constantly going in separate directions. I deeply love my older sisters....to me they were the definition of "grown-up" and seemed to have everything going for them. My sisters are just as beautiful now as they were when we were growing up and although they do not know this, I have always admired them for their ability to be successful in their lives. Even to this day, we when have family gatherings, looking at them they are happy and have such a good life. Don't we want that for our own family?
My brother, who is closer to my in age, is a man just like our father. He is dedicated to whatever he does and does not rest until he knows he has done what has needed to be done. Growing up, I remember playing football with him in the front yard, each of us wearing our favorite NFL teams jersey and helmet. He liked the Dallas Cowboys and I was a Minnesota Viking.....back then they were bitter rivalries!! Everything back then was so much simpler and the fun we had! Now, he is a grown man with a family of his own and, like my older sisters, is a successful adult. The thing I love most about my brother is his sense of humor! Between him and my sisters, when they get together, it always turns out to be a comedy routine.
The way in which a family interacts with one another reflects alot in the way that a family treats others, I think. Sometimes I think it goes beyond the Golden Rule. Especially today when everything is communicated through cell phones and computers, interacting in a personal manner has become, well, impersonal. Writing letters has been replaced with email and the television has replaced the family dinner table. Sometimes I think that we get so engrossed in our daily lives that we tend to forget that there are those around us, including family, that are struggling to keep their boats afloat.
If we lose sight of the bigger picture, and get caught up in the way the world is going, we are losing a part of ourselves that we will never be able to recover.
Family gatherings shouldn't only take place on Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, Mother's Day or Father's Day, it should be an everyday event filled with laughter and love.
What is the point of the popular home decoration, "Live, Laugh, Love", if it's not put into practice?
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Selfishness
As I was hanging clothes out on the line (yes, I really do use a clothesline...lol), I was thinking about how selfish I've been lately. Considering my circumstances, most people would think, "Well, you deserve to think that way" or "You should be thinking about how no one is helping you stay alfoat", but in reality, none of that is true. Yes, I am currently unemployed, trying to raise my son, provide the basic items for him, but, I have had a few people to offer their help to me. For instance, my mother has constantly been the source of help and strength for me, even when her physical strength has not always allowed her to do so.
The blessing has been that by her cooking meals for me and my son, it has given us the opportunity to share our thoughts, feelings, and what God is doing in our lives that day. I am a firm believer that God, in His infinite wisdom, puts circumstances in our lives so that His goodness and mercy can be shown to those who do not experience His never fading love.
Yes, it would be nice to have a house that doesn't look like it has been deserted, or to even have a complete makeover for myself, but those are things that can only be viewed on the outside, not the inside. For those who really know me, they know that I am a person of compassion, love and humor. I believe that making someone laugh opens up a line of communication to get to know someone and make new friends.
In the past and even to this day, I, being a human, still make mistakes that humans tend to do: gossip, lie, etc., but at the end of the day, I have to face God with my sins and repent, knowing that His grace and mercy surpass ANYTHING in this world.
I have learned over the years that the world is not my friend and will make me promises that it will not deliver on, leaving me empty and alone, BUT I know ONE who will never desert me, nor forsake me and will guide me through whatever storms come my way.
So, for those who read this and you do not know Jesus as your personal savior, I'm here to tell you that when you call upon Jesus, there will be peace that will shower you beyond anything you will ever experience.
Yes, it is a commitment to follow Jesus, but it is one that will be with you forever!
Amanda
The blessing has been that by her cooking meals for me and my son, it has given us the opportunity to share our thoughts, feelings, and what God is doing in our lives that day. I am a firm believer that God, in His infinite wisdom, puts circumstances in our lives so that His goodness and mercy can be shown to those who do not experience His never fading love.
Yes, it would be nice to have a house that doesn't look like it has been deserted, or to even have a complete makeover for myself, but those are things that can only be viewed on the outside, not the inside. For those who really know me, they know that I am a person of compassion, love and humor. I believe that making someone laugh opens up a line of communication to get to know someone and make new friends.
In the past and even to this day, I, being a human, still make mistakes that humans tend to do: gossip, lie, etc., but at the end of the day, I have to face God with my sins and repent, knowing that His grace and mercy surpass ANYTHING in this world.
I have learned over the years that the world is not my friend and will make me promises that it will not deliver on, leaving me empty and alone, BUT I know ONE who will never desert me, nor forsake me and will guide me through whatever storms come my way.
So, for those who read this and you do not know Jesus as your personal savior, I'm here to tell you that when you call upon Jesus, there will be peace that will shower you beyond anything you will ever experience.
Yes, it is a commitment to follow Jesus, but it is one that will be with you forever!
Amanda
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